27 April 2012

Advice after 5 years of Dating

I read something incredibly profound yesterday ... Life is only 4,000 weeks. Now, I don't know about you, but I measure my time in weeks. I don't think I ever mean too but if I am ever talking about how fast time is going it is generally accompanied by "I can't believe how fast that week flew by". Just 4,000 weeks. Depending on how you look at it is either a lot, or a little and of course your life could be more, or less. For me however, I read it and went that's it?? Never have I been more motivated, more inspired and more excited by the fact that the future is mine and those 4,000 weeks of life I have been gifted need to be lived in the most remarkable way possible. This isn't what inspired this weeks dating advice, but it made me realise after writing it that I am lucky to have found someone to live out the remaining 4,000 weeks with. So remember, if you're unhappy in love or life, you only have 4,000 weeks - that's it. Make yours count.

p.s If you want to read more articles that I write like attracting a king, being more approachable & Respect ... then visit it here



5 years & counting

Love is a crazy thing isn’t it? It is also a fun, incredible, world defying thing whilst at the same time being a jealous, angry, confusing thing. I honestly know I have never experienced and doubt I ever will experience such a profound feeling as love. I think I am one of the lucky ones though as 5 years ago, I walked in to a party – sure I was drunk - and met someone who would become the one who fulfils all of the above. An amazing start to a love story? Hardly, but a heart stopping love? Absolutely. Although only 24 (his 28), I think a healthy 5 year relationship does give you some credentials when trying to give some relationship advice... and here is mine.
Argue but don’t say mean things – keep your fights short, relevant and clean. No point in saying things you don’t mean anyway and keeping tallys on who said what or didn’t do that.
Forgive quickly – they love you, you love them, your arguments are petty in comparison to the love you share so why waste even a second holding on to a grudge or anger when you’re only going to forgive them down the track anyway.
Support their dreams – this is the essence of someone, the thing that motivates them, excites them and ‘is’ them. To not support their dreams is to say you don’t believe in them and belief is at the core of every human being.
Respect them – pretty simple to understand this one but respect them not just as a boyfriend/girlfriend, respect them as the whole individual they are and all the roles they fill – friend, brother, sister, colleague, and so on. This is important to understanding them.
Fall in love without loosing yourself – be consumed by all means and adore spending time with them but keep your own hobbies, friends and interests too. You’re still an ‘I’ just as much as an ‘us’
Laugh together – you don’t need to have the same sense of humour to be able to laugh together. Do this daily. It makes for a fun relationship and one where you can laugh through the good and bad times (and we all know we go through both).
Talk less, listen more – you will both be surprised how much more gets communicated and how much more you open up after a long hard day instead of saying ‘I’m fine’.
Find each others love language and speak it – don’t know what I’m talking about? For shame. This is my relationship golden rule. There are 5 love languages – Words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch. Figure out which one each of you are, do your research ... and start speaking in each others language.
Find your own rules & groove and go with it – everybody is different, which means every relationship is different. Find what works for you both and work on that not trying to emulate other people or relationships you think work.
So there you go. This is a snapshot of why I think after 5 years of a relationship I am falling more in love as each year goes on. Most importantly though, just love and have fun. We only have one life and it’s yours to live so make it count with the right person.

12 comments:

  1. Great advice dear :) And I have to tell you after my broken engagement over 6 months ago, I'm now dating an amazing man (whom I also happened to know for the past 7 years) - I don't plan to waste any more of my weeks!

    XO
    www.pearlsandpaws.blogspot.com

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  2. these are great tips..love the fall in love without loosing yourself. that and respect are two very important aspects of a relationship!

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  3. Wow it really shocked me, too. 4000 weeks? That seems pretty little. But as you said it is a great motivation to live life to its best. Lovely post! Would be happy if you paid my blog a little visit, too. Lill x

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  4. You have definitely given some great advice. I can't believe that 4000 weeks is it!

    I hope you are having a great weekend. Stop by our blog and enter our Giveaway for a personalized necklace by Sima.

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  5. I never thought about life in terms of weeks...4000 isn't a lot when you come to think about it, is it...Oh dear now you've made me really really miss my husband, he's away for the weekend - what is he doing wasting a weekend away from me! This puts this into a lot of perspective. Hope you have a lovely weekend <3

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  6. Only 4000 weeks? Oh my, seems so short when I see it written. I would just add to your advice be honest about your feelings every time ;) Have a nice rest of the weekend ;)

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  7. Wow, 4000 weeks is not as much as I thought it would be! That's insane! Considering how fast the months fly by, not just the weeks, it's going super quick! I really like your blog, it would be nice if you could stop by my blog sometime too :) :)

    www.raindropsofsapphire.com

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  8. Woow I can't believe it!!! Thank you for the advices I have to share this!

    Nuellasource

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  9. 4,000 weeks? That does not seem like a lot! I wonder how many weeks I have lived already! I better get to doing the things I want...

    Amy

    fashionandbeautyfinds.blogspot.com

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  10. I better start counting how many weeks i´ve lived so far! I still need a lot of them:)

    http://estilohedonico.blogspot.pt/

    xoxo

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  11. It's scary how each week goes by so quickly and there's only 4000 of them to be had... mental note to never wish for the weekend to come again! Loved your advice, it all resonates - my favourite though was the love language - I've never put any conscious thought into this and it's so true. You always have such amazing insight when you write these, I always look forward to reading them!

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