13 August 2012

Re defining relationship rules for travelling

Ireland...you've been real. 

But here we are, with more airport coffee, wistfully waiting our hours away until the next flight & more rock paper scissoring over who gets the laptop this time - I won! (i.e. we're sitting in Belfast airport waiting for a connecting flight). We are officially on our way to Scotland and both couldn't be more excited. Ireland was amazing, but I think somewhere deep down we both have a soft spot for Scotland so have been quite excited for this leg of the trip. We're about to spend 10 days exploring the North of Scotland (including Isle of Skye and the fairy pools there) and Edinburgh and although excited, have no expectations, we'll just be and see and do. We are still having a ball and don't miss anything yet** (sorry mums!), not even our bed - which is about as close to heaven as it gets.  We realised pretty fast on this trip just how big the world really is and how badly we want to explore it. Everything changes over here, and we don't just mean eating & sleeping habits - although they're the first things to change, (read: our waist bands are expanding daily). Your view of the world changes though. Where you're at in it, what you want to do with it and who you want to do it with. Morgs & I know we're both very lucky to have one another and feel like we've found our fellow adventurer. Travelling as a couple though (when you're not married and stuck with each other for life bound by a set of vows i.e. till death do us part) it can be very interesting, your relationship changes as well. Roles can reverse, love languages shift & new habits, good habits can start to develop. We thought that we would be at each others throats so much more than we have been, we thought we'd have broken up (or at least threatened) by the first week, at least within the first 2 weeks and we thought this whole trip would be a big test for our relationship - after all, that is what society says about travelling in couples right? Wrong. We still haven't fought once, we are laughing & enjoying each others company more than ever & what used to piss each other off at home makes us laugh over here. Reflecting with a delicious cup of Irish coffee - p.s Ireland does really good coffee - and Morgs by my side, here is what we think makes travelling in a couple work....
  1.  If one of the two of you is starting to get agitated, annoyed, flustered, or stressed, be sure to remain the calm, upbeat, happy one. It works. Trust us. It works. This has saved us twice on the trip so far - once in Cardiff & once in Belfast where both of us have assumed the role of staying calm or happy if the other one gets stressed. It difuses any situation almost immediately. 
  2. If you are starting to get grumpy, be honest & call a time out. We worked out almost straight away while travelling that communication is key (when isn't it I suppose). If either of us are needing an Anna or Morgan break we just say and go sit in the sun by ourselves, read a book - whatever! 10 minutes later it's like you haven't seen them in a week!
  3. When in a foreign country, where you don't know the laws, the rules, or what the people are like, always remain with your partner, & don't be a dickhead. We went out in Dublin for a big pub crawl and I knew, even though neither of us are jealous types (at all), if either of us gave too much attention to other gendered travellers or if I let a random guy talk to me at the bar, fights would errupt. It sounds stupid, but just be respectful & don't do anything that could piss the other one off - the same should apply in Australia, but especially when travelling. 
  4. With everything that you carry, own, have brought over, adopt the concept that you're both equally responsible for everything all the time. Taking a bag out for the day and the man is carrying it? Or maybe your more responsible so hold on to things like passports or itinerary's and phones. It doesn't matter who is holding it your both responsible to ensure it is on you & remembered at all times. This tip alone has probably saved us 10 fights. We evolved, adapted, came up with this almost day 1 when I lost tickets to the London Eye - its ok I ended up sweet talking us on - and Morgs almost lost our backpack with all the electronics in it. Neither of us got mad at the other as either of us could have checked & asked the other have we got anything, have we remembered, can we look after it for awhile. If you're both responsible as well you are almost guaranteed to never forget anything. 
  5. No matter what the problem that is going to cause the huge argument, no matter how tired and agitated you are, or how angry you are at the other person - stop and realise exactly where you actually are, that you're living a dream, & be grateful for the opportunity. Life is already too short for anger & arguments over nothing ... especially when you're having an extraordinary time overseas. Any harsh words or misguided anger is going to be such a waste when you should just be grateful and excited for the opportunity to live a goal of travel & be experiencing awe inspiring moments with a loved one. So drop it, walk away, leave it, cool down - do whatever you gotsta do to let it go and move on.
Everybody has a friend, daughter, neice, cousin, son, sister, whoever that is planning some form of travel & if you get an opportunity, the advice above is welcome to be shared as its helped Morgs & I already so much. 

P.s Below are the pics we snapped on Instagram from Dublin giving a different view on how we saw this beautiful city. It reallyyy was amazing. 

**Don't worry mums we actually are missing you both - a smidgen haha

1. Our first real traditional Irish Food - this was my Irish stew, Morgs had Beef Guinness pie. Delicious!
2. Morgs drinking an amazing cup of coffee in a gorgeous boutique cafe we found done an ally way. 
3. I love this photo - we snapped it on a whim waiting for a bus out the front of St Patrick's cathedral and we were sooo excited. It captures a moment in time I'll remember forever.
4. A pic (the best way I know how) of the gorgeous cobblestone streets in Dublin. They're everywhere.
5. Our hostel was at the doorstop of the River Liffey - this shot was taken standing on the bridge opposite our hostel. 
6. Just an old cobblestone street we found with an old building and an old door - I loved capturing the beauty in the buildings & streets.
7. Our first view when walking in to St Patrick's cathedral - so so so stunning. The mosaic on the floor & the stained glass windows was the most amazing. 
8. We took a train an hour out of Dublin to visit the countryside & after initial adventuring stumbled upon this beautiful ally way of trees leading to nowhere in particular. (It felt very "The secret garden" to me - straight out of the movies)
9. We are indulging at every turn and this was one of our leisurely afternoon teas we were enjoying - I went with the warm pear frangipani with cream & Morgs went with the mixed berry frangipani - delish!
10. We found the Irish coast! A snapshot of the first time I saw the Irish coast - in the Irish countryside. 
11. We sat in this grass & tried to find a 4 leaf clover - with no luck. Oh well next time!
12. A view looking back across the country town Wicklow - it was so peaceful & serene. 
13. Some steps carved in to stone that lead to ruins of an original Viking home from the 1100's. Ah-ma-zing.
14. One of my fav experiences! We visited the pub from the movie 'P.s I love you' - one of my favs!!
15. Original book with a handwritten sermon from the 1700's we found in St Patrick's cathedral. The sermon was from the book of John.
16. Gorgeous Morgs a top Dublin in the Guinness factory enjoying his pint a little too much!
17. The sun came out in Dublin & we made the absolute most of it. We raced to a gorgeous cafe, ordered the biggest cups of coffee & sat people watching in the sun. 
18. There are fresh flowers for sale everywhere in Dublin - I just adored it. 































11 comments:

  1. Those are such great tips - especially both being responsible and checking what you're carrying. Sounds like you're having a ball .... enjoy Scotland!

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  2. I like the time out tip! & all those photos look so magical, 6 & 8 are my all time favourites! x

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    1. Number 8 was my favourite to find :) x

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  3. Your advice is so true. When travelling with my bf I also found out that if one of you feels sick or there´s something wrong with him/her the other one shouldn´t act like he/she doesn´t care. I´d say just be a team all the time, right? :) Insta pictures are great and help to picture what an incredible time you two are having. Enjoy Scotland and let us know everything about it soon ;)
    xx Eve.h

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    1. That is so trueee Eve! I didn't articulate it like that but its so right - we read in to things wrong instead of just understanding you need a time out. Yes my instagram photos are for mum & family who don't get to see me post them as I go :P xxx p.s Scotland is amazinggg

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  4. Anna, I am loving your photographs. Numbers 8 & 12 are amazing, but it's number 3 that steals my heart. Keep capturing these precious moments because they're the ones that you will treasure in the years to come, and make you recall memories in ways you can't imagine right now. Keep these posts coming. I've loved EVERY. SINGLE. ONE! B xoxoxo

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    1. Nawww thanks B!! There are 3 of the pics we snapped in a spur of the moment and I love going back to them and am already smiling when I think of happiness we were feeling. I will keep the posts coming don't worry about that :) I see Morgs check the blog regularly now for comments so it's our little space for this travel adventure thats for sure xxxx p.s we actually love hearing that you are loving them! Truly! x

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  5. Love your traveling stories, they are so true and straight from the heart. Traveling is the best way to explore (not only new places, but also) how you fit with one another. Enjoy! xoxo

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    1. Oh how perfectly you put that :) And yes its so true. Even though Morgs & I Have been together 5 years now there is certainly a different dynamic coming through on this trip - loving all the experiences and cities ;) xxx

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  6. These photos are so amazing, Anna - they really capture a sense of place! I also can't express how true some of these "relationship travel rules" are. I'd never thought about this before, but reading your rundown makes such complete sense to me. My husband is such a seasoned traveler that he somehow knows how to avoid jet lag completely, but not me - I become a sleepy, sluggish grump. About halfway through our first big trip together, I realized this was taking a toll on him, so I would make myself take time outs just to spare him from my weird travel moods. ;) I think I've developed a few unspoken rules the more we've traveled together, but you've listed some I've never thought of...I particularly love your first rule - being cheery and calm when our partners need us to be is so key to working through stressful situations together. :) Wishing you so many amazing adventures over the coming days! -Jennifer

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